Sino nga ba? Tanga ka edi ikaw! Oh yes! I was always blamed to all that fucking matter!
Simple lang naman dapat ang buhay...Gumising sa umaga, magsipilyo, maligo, kumain, magtrabaho, umuwi sa bahay, kumain matulog. Pero bakit ba sakin parang kahit kelan hindi nagiging simple ang lahat! Tanga ka alam mo ang sagot.... kasi ginawa mong komplikado. Pinasan mo ang pangarap ng ibang tao.
Maraming chances na siguro sobrang malawak na yung mundo ko. Like I was conquering countries to countries, manage a multi-billion company or maybe bigger and wider than that. Pero that was not where I am right now. Nandito ako to help someone grow up and make them feel that they are successful. Pumasok ako sa mundo na ndi akin para makatulong.
But why do i allow everyone to act as if I do not do something good to them? Why do I always feel that no matter how hard I tried to help and bring them up nobody cares about the term "appreciation" It happened to me alot of times... to one of my best friends where i told all my top secrets in sales just to bring her sales up, to my family na kahit ndi ko na kaya at alam kong mahihirapan ako tutumbling pa rin ako to make them feel secure at sa kaisa-isang lalaking wala akong ginawa kundi magsakripisyo. LAHAT YAN I ENDED UP CRYING TO DESPERATION na one day I will hear their Thank you and I appreciate you! But in times of mess nobody cares and no one knows how those words will uplift my spirit. Masisisi at masisigawan ka pa!
Am I too selfish sa sarili ko? hahaha bago yun! (Selfish sa sarili lol) Is this sacrifice worth dying for? I guess yes, because ngayon I felt like i was dying, my heart is dying, i got numb and weak pakiramdam ko I was in a cage na lahat ng mabbangis na hayop nilalapa ako. But does anyone know how I felt? yes...sino? yung computer ko hahaha. In short wala! no one knows how i felt and no one knows kung paano ako i rescue. Eh simple lang naman.... i just need someone to hug me so tight and let me know how much I mean to them and how much they love and appreciate me.
But again no one to be blame except ME! Ako na walang ginawa kundi maging masaya para sa iba kahit na yung simpleng kaligayahan na yakapin at maappreciate ka hindi ko mauha, Well, that's life! Sabi nga ni God... and tawag dyan FREE WILL. Pinili mong magsakripisyo kaya pinili mo ding mahirapan.
Note: Lord Rescue Me!
Monday, June 8, 2015
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
YOU HAVE TO RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT
Keep Rocking The Free World! But how can you rock if the only freedom you have eh hindi mo maexcercise....FREEDOM OF SPEECH ni BITCH!
Yes! unluckily yung kaisa isang pinakamalayang pwedeng gawin sa Pilipinas eh ironic... parang mas madalas sa buhay ko yung YOU HAVE TO RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. I was caught in a situation na bawal akong mapagod, bawal magreklamo at bawal magsabi ng nararamdaman. Actually nobody tells me na bawal....BINABAWALAN lang talaga ako ng pagkakataon. May nagsabi sakin dapat masaya lang sa buhay....pero too literal masyadong ideal! ang tao nilikha ng Diyos na may emotions...actually halo halong emotion. Kahit sa fairy tale umiiyak yung bida kapag nasasaktan, tumatawa pag nasasayahan....ako pa kaya na ni hawig ni ilong ni cinderella ndi ko nakuha? LOL
Too bad for me when i want to scream that I am hurt...i can't....when i want to scream that I am tired,,,i can't...when i want to rest in this restless place....I CAAAANNN'T...Why? kasi i got judged, kasi i will surely get those words that I don't deserve but i expect. Yung mga salita na parang gusto mo na lang magdisappear sa mundo one day at mapunta sa Sagada para mag "THAT THING CALLED TADHANA" ka na lang. Na actually dapat 'IDEALLY DAPAT" ang naririnig mo is Uy, nandito lang ako tulong tayo.... words na akala mo pakiramdam mo re-charged ka na and handa mo ng sagupain ang mundo. Simple pero ndi ganun,...instead you will hear fearful words na "wag kang magpagawa para ndi ka napapagod"....words na parang pakiramdam mo isa kang bateryang drain na tapos binalatan ka tapos tsaka ka tinapon. Words na sana pinasimple na lang ng "nandito lang ako tulong tayo" salita na sana nakapagbalik buhay sayo...pero ndi ang ngyari...ako pang nagsisisi sana ndi na lang ako nagsabi para ndi ako nasaktan. Kung pwede ko lang ipasa yung sakit sa ballpen sa harap ko nagtae na siguro to ng sobra hahahha.
Maraming pagkakataon pero parehas ang sitwasyon, pagkatapos... kailangan kong humanap ng lugar kung san ako iiyak ng mahina, yung sobrang hina dala yung bigat na sana pala ndi na ko nagsabi para ndi ako nasaktan. Madalas ang nakakapagpagaan na lang ng loob ko eh pag sinabi kong "HAY BAKIT NDI PA KASI AKO PINATAY NUNG BATA AKO" hehe....
I have this fear na one day pag naging kasanayan ko to... yung rights ko maging YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT FOREVER, kasi no one can hear you na 60 feet under the ground and literally you can't open your mouth because of the formal dehyde hahaha. I was scared of loosing my life to live. But who cares though? No one cares though.
But sabi nga nila ang bagay na pinili mo kailangan panindigan mo. Pag mahal mo tiisin mo.... I may say that tanga na kung tanga na magbigay ng Love sa iba na madalas kinakalimutan mo ng sarili mo but didn't I deserve simple things that might keep me moving to love? didn't I deserve the words that would let me get re-charged?
Simple lang naman ako, material things don't matter a lot for me. But simple appreciation and comfort is what matters to me... sadly I have to say goodbye to that matter....coz i am created to scream in the tunnel and exercise my RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
P.s.
Can someone hug me so tight?
Yes! unluckily yung kaisa isang pinakamalayang pwedeng gawin sa Pilipinas eh ironic... parang mas madalas sa buhay ko yung YOU HAVE TO RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. I was caught in a situation na bawal akong mapagod, bawal magreklamo at bawal magsabi ng nararamdaman. Actually nobody tells me na bawal....BINABAWALAN lang talaga ako ng pagkakataon. May nagsabi sakin dapat masaya lang sa buhay....pero too literal masyadong ideal! ang tao nilikha ng Diyos na may emotions...actually halo halong emotion. Kahit sa fairy tale umiiyak yung bida kapag nasasaktan, tumatawa pag nasasayahan....ako pa kaya na ni hawig ni ilong ni cinderella ndi ko nakuha? LOL
Too bad for me when i want to scream that I am hurt...i can't....when i want to scream that I am tired,,,i can't...when i want to rest in this restless place....I CAAAANNN'T...Why? kasi i got judged, kasi i will surely get those words that I don't deserve but i expect. Yung mga salita na parang gusto mo na lang magdisappear sa mundo one day at mapunta sa Sagada para mag "THAT THING CALLED TADHANA" ka na lang. Na actually dapat 'IDEALLY DAPAT" ang naririnig mo is Uy, nandito lang ako tulong tayo.... words na akala mo pakiramdam mo re-charged ka na and handa mo ng sagupain ang mundo. Simple pero ndi ganun,...instead you will hear fearful words na "wag kang magpagawa para ndi ka napapagod"....words na parang pakiramdam mo isa kang bateryang drain na tapos binalatan ka tapos tsaka ka tinapon. Words na sana pinasimple na lang ng "nandito lang ako tulong tayo" salita na sana nakapagbalik buhay sayo...pero ndi ang ngyari...ako pang nagsisisi sana ndi na lang ako nagsabi para ndi ako nasaktan. Kung pwede ko lang ipasa yung sakit sa ballpen sa harap ko nagtae na siguro to ng sobra hahahha.
Maraming pagkakataon pero parehas ang sitwasyon, pagkatapos... kailangan kong humanap ng lugar kung san ako iiyak ng mahina, yung sobrang hina dala yung bigat na sana pala ndi na ko nagsabi para ndi ako nasaktan. Madalas ang nakakapagpagaan na lang ng loob ko eh pag sinabi kong "HAY BAKIT NDI PA KASI AKO PINATAY NUNG BATA AKO" hehe....
I have this fear na one day pag naging kasanayan ko to... yung rights ko maging YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT FOREVER, kasi no one can hear you na 60 feet under the ground and literally you can't open your mouth because of the formal dehyde hahaha. I was scared of loosing my life to live. But who cares though? No one cares though.
But sabi nga nila ang bagay na pinili mo kailangan panindigan mo. Pag mahal mo tiisin mo.... I may say that tanga na kung tanga na magbigay ng Love sa iba na madalas kinakalimutan mo ng sarili mo but didn't I deserve simple things that might keep me moving to love? didn't I deserve the words that would let me get re-charged?
Simple lang naman ako, material things don't matter a lot for me. But simple appreciation and comfort is what matters to me... sadly I have to say goodbye to that matter....coz i am created to scream in the tunnel and exercise my RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
P.s.
Can someone hug me so tight?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)